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Beijing Scene, Volume 5, Issue 21, August 13 - 19


 
BLOOD TYPE 血型
 

Every international traveler should know their own blood type in case they wake up naked in a hotel room bathtub filled with ice and a note saying they're just had an internal organ or two surgically removed without their
knowledge or consent.

Any laowai knows about the 'litany' of questions asked of foreigners by Chinese people. "What country are you from?" "How old are you?" "How long have you been in China?" "How much money do you make?" Any laowai who speaks enough Chinese to get past the first round of questions has probably gone on to the bonus round where they ask you "what's your xuexing (blood type)?" Chinese people are 迷信的 mixin de (superstitious). They believe the number eight to be lucky because 八 ba (eight) sounds like 发 fa, which means rich, as in 发财 facai (to get rich). They think the number four is unlucky because 四 si sounds like 死 si, which means death. They are convinced that if you put red paper in a storefront window, the store will go out of business. After 坐牢 zuo lao (doing time in jail), a Chinese person will immediately go home and take a bath to wash away the bad luck. If a Chinese person says negative things, he or she will put honey on the lips of a Buddha so the Buddha will tell good things about the person to the spirits. Chinese people also believe they will not get hit by a car because they have something known as "the right of way". No matter how silly these superstitions may seem to you, the Comrade highly recommends that all single (and 'married but single) guys familiarize themselves with these beliefs, as an understanding of these and other Chinese superstitions will help you 泡妞 paoniu (pick up chicks).

For example, if you know what Chinese girls believe about the supposed compatibility of people of various different zodiac signs and blood types, you will know which sign and blood type you should claim to be so that she will think you are 'compatible with her. Before getting into the unfounded beliefs, the Comrade should first mention a bit about the 科学 kexue (science) of blood types. In some ways, every person's blood is the same foreigners' and Chinese people's (although Chinese blood is slightly purer, more refined). But, when analyzed under a microscope, big differences are visible. In the early 20th century, Austrian scientist Karl Landsteiner classified blood according to those differences. He was awarded the 诺贝尔奖金 nuobeier jiangjin (Nobel Prize) for his achievements. Comrade Landsteiner observed two distinct chemical molecules present on the surface of red blood cells. He labeled one molecule A and the other molecule B. If the cell had only A molecules on it, that blood was called type A. If the cell had only B molecules on it, that blood was called type B. If the cell had a mixture of both molecules, that blood was called type AB. If the cell had neither molecule, that blood was called type O. If two different blood types are mixed together, the blood cells may begin to clump together in the blood vessels, causing a potentially 致命 zhiming (fatal) situation. Therefore, it is important that blood types be matched before blood transfusions take place. Every international traveler should know their own blood type in case they wake up naked in a hotel room bathtub filled with ice and a note saying they're just had an internal organ or two surgically removed without their knowledge or consent.

O 型 xing (Type O)
Type O blood is considered to be the 詁est blood type in China because it is the most common. In an emergency, type O blood can be given because it most likely to be accepted by all blood types. That's why a person with type O blood is said to be a universal donor. But a person with type O blood can only receive blood from another person with type O blood. Despite their medical usefulness, type O people are 顽固 wangu (stubborn), 冲动 chongdong (impulsive), and 随便 suibian (promiscuous). Their redeeming quality is that they are loyal to their friends.

A 型 xing (Type A)
A person with type A blood can 鲜血 xianxue (donate blood) to a person with type A or type AB, and can receive blood from a person with type A or type O. Type A people are 保守 baoshou (conservative) and 消极 xiaoji (passive; inactive), and are concerned with 外表 waibiao (outer appearances). Although type A people are superficial and have a touch of 神经质 shenjingzhi (mental instability), they are very patient and finish what they start.

B 型 xing (Type B)
A person with type B blood can donate blood to a person with type B or AB. A person with type B blood can receive blood from a person with type B or O. Type B people get along well with others because they are 直率 zhishuai (frank; straightforward), have no 偏见 pianjian (prejudices) and are noted for their 独创性 duchuangxing (originality; creativity). But type B people are also moody and fickle and become bored and annoyed easily.

AB 型 xing (Type AB)
A person with type AB blood can donate blood to a person with type AB only, but can receive blood from anyone. A person with type AB blood is said to be a universal receiver. People with blood type AB are the most 奇怪 qiguai (weird) and superficial of all. They don't make a decision until they have thoroughly considered every option for half a day. AB people are 挑剔 tiaoti (picky) and are known to 斤斤计较 jinjin jijiao (nitpick about insignificant matters). They are mentally unstable, keqiu (demanding) and worry about petty 得失 deshi (gain and loss). Type AB people are also impatient and have no 毅力 yili (willpower). They are two-faced and coldhearted social misfits. In next weeks' Comrade Language more superstitious nonsense: The Chinese Zodiac Signs!

 

Previous stories

Judging a book by its cover

Losing Weight

Money is everything

The Comrade's final exam

Wining and dinning out

Pekinese in beijing

Using Your Electric Brain

Traditional Holidays

Little Emporer Syndrome

Henpecked Husbands

To Own Real Estate is Glorious

 


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