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Beijing Scene, Volume 5, Issue 24, September 3 - 9


 

Seduction
It is very popular now for couples getting married to have formal wedding pictures taken dressed in not only traditional wedding outfits, but virgin white western gowns as well as other kinds of costumes. To make these pictures more 'internationalí and modern, English words are often printed on the laminated frames. These wedding pictures are expensive, starting in the thousands of renminbi and often running up to the tens of thousands.

When one couple, a Mr. & Mrs. Yu, got married they had their photos taken at the Dragon Photo Shop in Hangzhou. They chose to have their pictures laminated in a fancy crystal frame. The frame had the word "seduction" written under the photo of the lovely couple standing together smiling.

On the wedding day, one of the close friends of the couple who understood English explained that the world "seduction" on their photo was not very appropriate. The couple were furious and immediately after the wedding filed a lawsuit against the Dragon Photo Shop. The lawsuit continues as the court debates whether the word "seduction" has a positive or negative connotation.
- Beijing Daily

Puppy Love
In Baoji City in Shanxi Province a retired army officer and his wife went to a local restaurant for lunch. A table was arranged for the couple. At the table across from them was a mother, her daughter, and a small dog sitting on the seat with them at the table.

As the food was being served to the older couple, they watched the mother and daughter across from them feeding the dog at the table with wonton dumplings. The older couple was furious and complained to the manager of the restaurant who explained, "There is nothing I can do about this. They are customers. They pay for their meal. So in fact the dog is a customer too because he is eating the meal they pay for."

The old couple started screaming, "Look, they feed the dog using the spoon and chopsticks of the restaurant. Those are the same utensils which the people must use after the dog eats off of them."

"Oh, thatís no problem," explained the manager. "we clean the utensils very well here."

Furious, the couple paid and walked out. The old wife could no longer eat her favorite dumplings because whenever she saw dumplings she would think of the dog eating off of her spoon and want to vomit. So she complained to the local consumer protection office, and has since launched a lawsuit against the restaurant claiming compensation for loss of appetite.
- Beijing Evening News

Having My Baby
With Chinaís nouveau-riche increasingly maintaining concubines and not using contraceptives, DNA testing is becoming a big money-making business. Many ‘second wivesí are now claiming that they have the legal children of some 'dakuaní or 'sugar daddies.í

How to prove whether or not the child in the concubineís arms belongs to the father or not? DNA testing is of course in line with the 'scientificí policies being promoted these days throughout China. A few interesting DNA test results follow as reported in the Chinese press:
In Guangzhou one 80 year-old man showed up with a young girl and her three year-old child claiming that it was his. Nobody at the DNA testing center believed this, and thought that the young girl was trying to play a fast one on the old man to steal his money. To everybodyís surprise, sure enough, the DNA test proved the child to be his.

One ‘big bossí who thought he was having his deep pockets dug, took a young girl who claimed she had two twins by the boss to the DNA testing center. The boss did not recognize these twins. After the DNA test, it was found out that one of these so-called twins was the child of the big boss but the other one was not. The DNA testing center staff are still trying to figure this one out.

A girl in Shenzhen had two boyfriends before she got married. Later she dumped one, married the other and then had his child. But after one year of growth, she felt that this child did not look like her current husband. She went to have a DNA test only to find out that the child was the son of the earlier boyfriend.
- Beijing Youth Daily

Turtle Soup
A woman from outside of Shanghai was in a Shanghai market purchasing a live turtle. She was amazed at how low the price of the turtle was and called this a tiaolou jia or 'jump off the building price.í The lady was very excited because the price was cheap and the turtle very big. She held the turtle in her hands and felt its weight and thickness - such a good deal!

Immediately one of the market inspectors rushed over to stop the lady from falling into the trap. "Donít buy that turtle," he explained to the poor lady who did not know the tricky ways of the Shanghai food markets. "That turtle is fat not with meat, but because this seller has injected him with water!"

"Hey, what are you saying?" the seller screamed at the inspector. "That turtle just came out of a stream. The water is natural."
"Then why the unnaturally big belly on the turtle?" snapped back the inspector.
"The turtle has a beer belly!" replied the vendor.
"Sorry," argued back the inspector. "I have never heard of turtles drinking beer!"
- Xinmin Evening News

Itís Magic!
At a supermarket in Shanghaiís Minhang District, a young man wearing short pants and a big hat was conspicuously wandering around the supermarket in a very busy and nervous manner. When he went to leave the supermarket, he stopped before the cashier to pay for two packets of instant noodles. Given that he had spent so much time wandering around the supermarket, the security guard was suspicious. Seeing the young manís bulging hat, the security guard demanded that he take off the hat.

Sure enough, the young man had all kinds of other goods under his hat, including batteries, gum, medicine, and toothpicks. Upon discovering this cache of goods that the young man was trying to smuggle out on the back of only paying for two packets of instant noodles, both the security guard and the cashier were furious.

The man was very calm and cool. When the security guard demanded to know why he had so many goods hidden in his hat, the man casually explained, "Oh I am a magician. You see my father before me was a magician, and I am just practicing the family art of magic."

"Come over here!" demanded the security guard. "You have been playing too much magic in our store. You need to pay for these things that you are trying to take out."

"No problem," replied the thief. "If you want to have the cashier charge me, then go right ahead and do it. It is only small money. We magicians are artists, so we donít worry about such small matters."
- Xinmin Evening News

Auction
There was a notorious motorcycle thief in Shanghai named Wang Zhongwei. Following one of his raids, he took two motorcycles stolen from Shanghai and brought them to a village to sell. As one buyer after another offered more money, Wang got a new idea and set up a formal auction business. Wang thereafter would bring his stolen wares to the village, set up a podium with chairs in front and then run an auction with the final sale of the stolen goods going to the highest bidder. He even used an auctioneerís hammer, slamming it on the podium when he declared a winner.

Journalists described these motorcycle auctions as "Having a very hot and excited atmosphere with all of the local people in the district coming en masse to attend the auction." Soon Wang was selling dozens of motorcycles this way. Eventually he was arrested - not for running the auction but while caught in the act of stealing motorcycles. After his arrest he confessed everything. So the police went to the homes of all the people who had bought motorcycles through the auction and confiscated everything.
- Shanghai Family News

 

  Previous Briefs...

August 27 - Sept. 2, 1999

August 20 - 26, 1999

August 13 - 19, 1999

August 6 - 12, 1999

July 30 - August 5, 1999

July 23 -29, 1999

July 16 -22, 1999

July 9 - 15, 1999

July 2 - 8, 1999

June 25 - July 1, 1999

 

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